The end of the novel The Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man aroused numerous emotions within me. To begin with, the conversation between the Texan and the old union soldier made me angry toward the Texans view point. It boggled my mind in reading that portion of the novel that someone, or anyone for that matter, could be so ignorant and ridiculous. When the old soldier came back with reliable facts to support his claim I could not help but smile. It is extremely appalling and sad that there was so much hatred in the South that eventually compiled to lead to lynching and other abuses toward the African American race.
The narrator decides once and for all that he is going to pass as white, but will not label himself as either or; that people can perceive him for what they view him as. With this decision the narrator finds himself back in New York City were he begins to live the "American dream."
However, with the life the narrator is pursing, I feel as though he is in conflict with himself over the prior decision he made to pass as white. It is as if he feels guilt for not declaring his African American heritage. I feel as though the narrator puts his own guilt at ease by laughing "...heartily over what struck me as the capital joke I was playing." I suppose this specific statement could also be viewed by the reader, or the Caucasian race in general, to be a slap in the face.
At the very end of the novel it is evident that the narrator is lonely and extremely disconnected. Even though it appeared that the narrator would eventually feel comfortable with who he is, he never discovered who he truly is, and in turn, never fully accepted himself. With him not being able to accept himself for what and who he is, it is remarkable to me that he was able to love another person (his deceased wife and his children).
3 comments:
I too felt bad as the black struggle continued and was witnessed by the narrator in the story. I felt it was a bit dramatized though, I didnt like how certain pieces were left out ...like what exactly did that black man who was lynched do? Did he rape some white women? I cannot justify the way he was burned for this... I was also dissapointed when the narrator gave up at this point and didnt take a more active or more political role. One other thing that bothered me was the fact that he didnt reveal his last job.. he said he made money but maybe was ashamed of his current position?
I believe that he was more ashamed of being black than actually feeling bad about not taking the steps he needed to take. If he was more white than black than he should have embraced that from the start and never looked back. If he felt more black than white than he wouldnt have stopped his fight. I am glad he found love and had children. He was a serious tragedy however and the worst part(biggest tragedy in my opinion) of the story is that his wife's life is prematurely taken
What I found ironic is how the Texan was kept going back to non-intellectual arguements to support his bias. Also, how our narrator says that he admires a man who does not give up on what he believes in. He is inlightened and feels that the Texan and the Black community are similar in some ways.
I also felt disappointed that the novel ended on such a depressing and dismal note. We, as readers, were completely aware of all the potential -- musical, academic, social -- that the narrator possed, but he never seemed confident enough in himself to realize this. There were so many points during the novel when I found myself actually saying "NO! Don't give up yet!" outloud, but he always did, and just as I predicted, he never followed through on his potential. I was willing to hold out on him up until the very end of the novel, but with his discouraging words on the last few pages, I feel like the narrator reached a point where he didn't WANT to try anymore. I think he realized that there were so many strikes against him socially and he had watched too many of his own race go unnoticed that he simply didn't want to achieve his goals anymore. It is very sad, but I think situation was probably very realistic for many middle class blacks during segregation.
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